It's Time to Live with Our Head Up

I saw a guy almost get hit by a car today. Near 50th and 3rd. I was walking parallel to 50th in the crosswalk with 7 seconds left on the signal. He must have seen me or someone else crossing out of the corner of his unfocused eye, and started walking perpendicular to 50th without looking at the signal. A Lincoln town car was coming about 40mph about 20 feet from the crosswalk, and with limited traffic, there would have been no reason for that driver to slow down or think anyone would be crossing given he had a clean green. The car had to quickly brake and honk for 5-10 seconds before the person realized / heard it and stopped in his tracks. His head was staring at his phone with his airpods in, texting. I yelled to get out of the way – it was closer than your usual busy New York rush hour street because it wasn’t a busy night in Midtown.

It was embarrassing. When I walked by him, I said “yo – pay attention – you almost just got hit by a car.” He nodded his head in an aloof fashion, and went back to texting. I think I saw 8 blue texts flying from his fingertips, so that 7th or 8th text in a row must have been SUPER important. Like ABSOLUTELY had to send it.

In the most non-malicious way possible, I kinda wish there would have been a small interference. Akin to the scene in Ferris Bueller’s Day off where Ferris is sprinting home and runs across the road where his sister and mom are driving, Jeannie (his sister) abruptly slams on the brakes right in front of him, he puts his hands on the hood, smiles (given the situation), and off to the races.

Give you an example. Back in the day on my way to tennis practice in high school, I stopped to get Jimmy John’s. Number 2, light lettuce, have a day. I miss those at 3 in the morning. But I started to eat it in the car. I dropped like half of it or the bag of chips and at a rolling traffic-y green light, I dipped my head down to find the chips / sandwich. I hit the person in front of me. Minor accident. Not a huge deal in the grand scheme. But since that moment, I have not eaten in the car while driving by myself.

That kid today – 24, finance vest, unshaven beard, he won’t know any better. He will continue to be immersed in that phone – at dinner, at work, crossing the street, at games, etc. I am utterly shocked at the response time of texts sometimes. Some combination of addiction and glue come to mind when thinking about your phone. I actually walked out the door this morning without it. No phone today. Fuck it. I emailed the CEO on one of my deals and told him and everyone else I’m working with knows I go into the office so you can reach me there, or via email.

I opened my commencement speech 8 years ago (yikes) – note to reader: it did not get picked for Duke Commencement but was better than the one that was – with a quote from Einstein: “I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.”

That guy today – just such an idiot. Covid picked the worst time to hit. We were already at the brink of technology and information overload and social media consuming our minds with every waking second. And with not being allowed to do anything and being afraid to do stuff, that’s all we know what to do. Head down in our phones, scrolling on our computers and tablets, getting enjoyment (or not) out of what comes through screens.

I am so disappointed in the route we have taken. A polarized, not wanting to be in person, okay to handle things virtually world, where we’re not even bothered by almost getting hit by a car because we were so locked into the 9th text in a row.

The iPhone that comes out next we will be re-branded the Toxic 10. The power and the attention that thing gets is so unhealthy – we all need to realize that. 20 years ago we lived. Today we live through our phones and the information and relationships and messages and reactions that come through them.

I pray that Covid teaches us one thing – human interaction and events that come along with it (concerts, weddings, tailgates, games, weekend retreats, etc.) are way better than the scrolling and the texting. Way more important. Way better for mental health.

Do yourself a favor and set some goals. Don’t respond to texts for 3 hours. 3 minutes. Go a weekend without a phone. Go a week. Go to work without it. Do something. Because what we are collectively doing right now is not healthy. I’m not immune to this. But think we all need to go to a clinic to get treated for cellphone addiction to figure out ways to come out the other end not needing it for hours at a time. It’s possible. And better. Way better.